Things Sesshoumaru Probably Wouldn't Do
by Meniscus of Tai-Yokai
Summary: Something that I came up with when I was bored out of my mind. I just got to typing it up. I'm all over the place here. It really transcends just InuYasha, really. Meh, though. Review if you want. xD


**A/N.**

**So, this is just something that I thought of doing. There's probably more of these out there, but all of these came from my train of thought. If there are any who would wish to sue me because they think I stole their 'original idea', don't bother. All I can say... is great minds think alike. I've never read another one of these lists, and I probably won't in the future. This was created for the sake of entertainment. Not theft. **

**Now, enjoy the list. If you should decide to review it, go ahead. They are welcome. As are flames, since I'm just feeling that spiteful.**

Things Sesshoumaru Probably Wouldn't Do

Meniscus of Tai-Yokai

An InuYasha fandom

1. Cosplay as Kagome.

2. Prance around Kaede's village in a Sailor scout costume, singing "Lollipop, lollipop, oh, lolly, lolly, lolly" with Rin.

3. Huggle InuYasha.

4. Snuggle up with his mokomoko at night.

5. Snuggle up with anything in particular.

6. Naraku.

7. Not step on/kick Jaken everytime the imp pisses him off.

8. Sing along to "Fly on the Wings of Love" by XTM. In the same key.

9. Not be elegant at all times. This includes having his left arm severed.

10. Call his junk the Bakusaiga of Love.

11. Admit to himself that humans aren't pathetic.

12. Call Sara "babycakes."

13. Play "A Hentai Fairy Tale" more than once.

14. Jakotsu. Or any of the Shichinintai for that matter.

15. Call Kagura his "wind wench."

16. Pants InuYasha.

17. Admit that Kagome's skirt is sexy.

18. Think that Kikyou's apathy is hot.

19. Concede defeat.

20. Think that a human is worthy of his Bakusaiga of Love.

21. Call himself "Fluffers."

22. Have a threesome with Kagome and Naraku.

23. Pet his furry.

24. Be emotionally destroyed if Rin one day courts Kohaku.

25. Go all crazy-youkai if he sees Kagome and InuYasha kiss.

26. Then tell Kagome he's a vampire.

27. Revive Rin with the Tenseiga again. (Though he probably wouldn't be able to anyways.)

28. Glomp Naraku

29. Dig in Kagome's backpack looking for the magical device known as a condom. (Inspired by Youkai Yume.)

30. Get InuYasha a shock collar for Christmas (though we know it would amuse him.)

31. Hold Rin's hand as they traverse.

32. Rape Kagome.

33. Rape anybody for that matter.

34. Cry when Jack drowns in Titanic.

35. Start wearing tight, black clothes, claiming he's emo. Then start singing "Love Me in Black" to Kagome. In the same key.

36. Tell Kaede her hitoe makes her look fat.

37. Fave a "Die, Kikyou" video on YouTube. Though had probably thought about it.

38. Sing "I'm Too Sexy for Tetsusaiga" on karaoke night.

39. Sing "I'm Too Sexy" in general. Though probably has thought it.

40. Start a Chase Young fanclub.

41. Join the community 'love4larsa' on LiveJournal.

42. Not have a murderous reaction everytime he saw a NarSess fanfic or fanart.

43. Ask Al-Cid Margrace where he got his white, leather pants.

44. Wear a shirt that said "Ph34r teh Phluphph."

45. Get Kikyou lingerie for her birthday. (Like.. a satin loincloth.)

46. Scream like a fangirl if he saw Utada Hikaru.

47. Polish the Bakusaiga religiously.

48. Enjoy shounen-ai.

49. Express his emotions in a sewing circle.

50. Become the second sephiroth.slave. (Couldn't use an underscore.)

51. Throw Cheetos at a television screen simply because he kept failing a mission in InuYasha: Feudal Combat.

52. Flash Naraku.

53. Be jealous of Sango if he saw her being groped by Miroku.

54. Hit on Shippou. (The poor kitsune. InuYasha scarred him for life. xx;)

55. Cry when he saw Tidus and Yuna kiss whilst "Suteki da Ne" played. Then try to sing along. In the same key, of course.

56. Hit on Kagura.

57. Cosplay as Fran from FFXII. If we got him a tan, skimpy black armor, a helm, high heels, red eye contacts and a lot of estrogen... He'd be her twin. Then after all those changes, we'd send him to Hugh Hefner.

58. Watch Naruto once, then start saying "Cha!!" every other sentence.

59. Think that Celestin from Ah! My Goddess made hexagons sexy. (Which Celestin did.)

60. Wish Clifford was female.

61. Acknowledge that he just may be an Usagi wannabe.

62. Ask Sango if she likes his racing stripes.

63. Hit on Haku from Naruto the first time he saw him, thinking he was female.

64. Claim he got his mokomoko at a flea market.

65. Get into to Dungeons and Dragons. Though I think that if he ever did get into it, he'd worship Heironeous. IRL.

66. Get Rin a NeoPet.

67. Ask Miroku if he'd bear this Sesshoumaru's child. I know it's biologically impossible. But the monk'd deserve it.

68. Give Rin "the talk." -Thinks on it.- Though he probably will have to.

69. Donate his left arm.

70. Tell InuYasha, "Even this Sesshoumaru's human form would be sexier than your own."

71. Get Kagome a real heart for Valentine's Day.

72. Ask his DM if he DnD character could be an inu-youkai instead of just an elf.

73. Sing "Creep" to himself when he feels down.

74. Meet David Kaye.

75. Admit that yuri is hot.

76. Become his own fanboy.

77. Tell Kikyou that this world's failed him and then offer to go to hell with her in InuYasha's stead.

78. Grope Sango.

79. Call the Tenseiga his "precious."

80. Call Naruto a Shippou wannabe.

81. Tell Bankotsu that the Banryuu is more potent than he will ever be.

82. Watch Kaede bathe (though I really don't believe anybody would.)

83. Tell Sakura that pink hair isn't natural, only to receive a comment about just every one of his features.

84. Tell Kagome her skirt makes her butt look big.

85. Join a Captain Underpants fanclub.

86. Wear a hat that said "What's up, Vanilla Face?" with Borat's head next to it.

87. Tell Kaede she needs a _reduce person_ spell cast on her.

88. Accuse Zabuza of being a pedophile, only to have that same accusation thrown back at him.

89. Tell Seto Kaiba that White Lightning _pales_ in comparison to Souryuuha.

90. Tell Kanna that she's his kindred.

91. Tell Vayne Solidor (from Final Fantasy XII) that his hair is as regenerative as Naraku.

92. Call Keiichi Morisato and ask him if his motorcycle's running.

93. Ask Kagome if she'd like to be his private geisha. Then pimp-smack her when she refuses.

94. Ask InuYasha why they play "Sweet Home Alabama" during KFC commercials. (InuYasha: o.O;; Uh.. die.)

95. Point and laugh at a power-deprived Sailor Pluto. Her powers were stripped from her because Pluto is not considered a planet anymore.

96. Potty-train Ah'Un.

97. Tell Naraku that he looks like a female. Then be called a hypocrite.

98. Tell Britney Spears that he knows he's toxic.

99. Purchase a Spongebob loofah.

100. Not shake his head in disapproval if he was to hear Rock Lee refer to himself as a "handsome devil."

101. Play with Rin's ponytail whilst she sleeps.

102. Ask Naraku to be his hetero life partner.

103. Tell Sango to throw her boomerang bone so he can attempt to fetch it.

104. Cry at the end of "Flowers in the Attic" when the Dollanganger kids _finally_ escape Foxworth Hall. Sans Cory, of course. (-Cries.-)

105. Ask Cousin Itt if he knows Vayne Solidor.

106. Miroku.

107. Poke a PowerPuff Girl in the eye.

108. Laugh maniacally like Jack Spicer.

109. Murr.

110. Read this list.


End file.
